I believe I have briefly mentioned my thoughts on polygamy on this blog in “The ever-changing purpose of culture part 2.” Today, I would like to delve into more detail on why polygamy should be the nuclear family of the future.I would like to clear a few things up before I begin. First, I’d like to address the issue of the actual definition of the word. Whenever we hear it today, we curl up our noses in disgust. This is because of the negative connotation the work has acquired over time. Also, note that the original definition of the word is “the practice or custom of having more than one wife and/or husband at the same time.” It does not simply mean one husband having multiple wives—it is a term that is interchangeable with group marriage, which refers to any pluralistic marriage arrangement. This is the definition of the word I will be using. Additionally, I would like to remind my readers that I am not a polygamist. Regardless of how much polygamy makes sense, I have no desire to participate in it myself. I cannot even conceive of loving more than one person, but it is my hope that in the future other generations can learn to do so, for reasons I am about to explain.
Before I delve into the world of polygamy, I would like to point out problems with the Western world’s current monogamous system (keep in mind that in many Eastern countries polygamy is legal; see map at left). Divorce is even easier than ever, and as a result, divorce rates are on the decline. This creates problems because it creates single-parent family units, which are poorer environments for raising children, mostly because our economic system works in such a way that married couples are able to make far more income than single parents. A death of one of the spouses in a family can also create the same problem. Also, sexual jealousy has run rampant in our culture. Men are often encouraged to fight over women, and hypergamy has become common practice. Finally, imbalance in the ratio of men to women in certain societies is beginning to cause social trouble. These problems are all caused by the fact that monogamy is far more maladroit than we realize.
Before I explain how polygamy can solve these problems, I would like to explore different types of polygamy, and talk about why some forms are better than others. The two most common forms, polygyny (one man having more than one wife) and polyandry (one woman having more than one husband) have some benefits, but they are not the best form of polygamy as far as resolving the issues above goes. True group marriage (multiple husbands and wives) is superior to these two, but the most superior (in my opinion) is line marriage. Line marriage is essentially the same as group marriage, but new partners will continue to marry into the group as others grow older. Thus, the marriage is stable and can in theory last forever.
The reasons polygamy—specifically line marriage—can rectify the problems stated above are quite simple. Polygamous families are economically superior to monogamous families. The increased number of incomes in a polygamous family more than makes up for the increased number of children, resulting in a more economically prosperous family unit. If one spouse should lose his/her job, the family is not going to be in financial trouble because the other co-spouses can continue to provide income until the unemployed one returns to work. If a death in the family were to occur, it is less emotionally stressful because of the abundance of parental figures less economically stressful because of the additional incomes. Polygamous families are also more well adapted socially than monogamous families. At least one or two parents will be able to remain at home to care for the children, which is much better environment for raising children than sending the child to a day-care facility. Also, divorces are more difficult to go though with and have less impact on the family than in monogamous marriages. If one spouse is in love with several of his/her co-husbands or co-wives, it is unlikely that he/she will wish to divorce the family because he/she does not like one co-spouse. Also, in line marriages, even if one spouse decides to divorce the family, another person can marry in to make up for it. Polygamous family members are probably less likely to get into serious arguments than monogamous family members, since in a group marriage other can mediate a fight between two spouses. Next, polygamy will teach human beings how to lessen the sexual jealousy that has become imbedded in our society and in our conditioning. Today, many people—myself included—find it difficult to imagine the though of marrying or being in love with more than one person. However, group marriage will prevent this sexual jealousy from being a part of our conditioning, since children are constantly exposed to their parents loving more than one person. Also, polygamy solves any problems related to an imbalance in the male-female ratio. In an unbalanced monogamous system, a large portion of the more populous gender would be unable to marry, but in a polygamous system this is not a problem—the imbalance will simply carry over into the marriage system rather than preventing marriages.
To conclude, I hope that in the future polygamy will become a cultural and societal norm, and we will no longer look down on it. I would also like to restate the fact that despite the fact that I agree with polygamy on an intellectual level, I have difficulty coping with it on a personal level. (I am emphasizing this simply because I do not want anyone getting the wrong idea.) However, I hope that future generations will soon come to realize the benefits of group marriage, and create a happier and better society for themselves.
**On an unrelated note: Can anyone identify the tawdry hat in the photo to the top left? Specifically, what era is it from?
12 comments:
Without even getting into whether or not I agree with this whole idea, how would you even begin to embed this into society? VERY VERY few would support it to begin with, so how could it possibly catch on?
It won't be easy. The first thing to do is change the fact that it's banned. Then certain polygamous communities across the country could be set up. with government encouragement and support. Once it gets going it might be able to spread on its own because of the many benefits.
And why won't you get into whether or not you agree? I'd like to know, even if it turns into a moral argument.
Oh I never said I wasn't willing to discuss haha. I guess the first word of my first post should have been "Before" rather than "Without." In my opinion, while it may seem like I'm "chickening out" here, I think living in the culture and society that I'm living in today, I can't claim to truly be able to objectively comment on this matter. We have just been conditioned our whole lives to know nothing BUT the traditional husband/wife/x amount of children family. Anything outside of that, as you mentioned, just seems completely bizarre. Thus, my first reaction to it was just that it was completely stupid and (here comes that word again) immoral. If line marriage AND traditional marriage both had their own significant presence in our society, and were both culturally acceptable, though, there's a pretty decent chance that my viewpoint would be different.
I pretty much conceded the same thing--my personal bias clearly gets in the way of making in objective judgement. Yes, polygamy certainly seems immoral to us, but why did you give up and stop there. Notice that I prefaced this post with what you just said, yet I went on to judge polygamy objectively (or I tried to at least). Yes, we do have a personal bias--but don't let that stop you. You even admit that the supposed "moral" problem stems from your conditioning. So ignore it for the moment, and tell me what you think of polygamy on a practical level.
But that's the thing: the way you present it makes it seem completely logical and fine. In fact, the only real problem I have with it is just the whole immoral aspect of it (but the fact that it's such a HUGE problem is what is stopping me from supporting it). But that leads me to ask myself: do I see this as a huge problem SOLELY because of my upbringing, or is it ACTUALLY immoral? There's no way I can know how much of it is my surroundings and bias, or how much of it is legitimate. For this, I can't take a stance.
...but then again I should also note that it's society who determines what is and isn't moral in the first place...
Yes, but we can change what society thinks--it is not set in stone.
I inspired this.
And good points, Bill. It would definitely have to start with the laws, but the rest is up to a gradual change in the minds of the people.
I will be one of the first to obtain multiple spouses.
Men or women?
id go with women, though that does not necessarily adhere to your sense of polygamy here. id delve further into the subject, but that could be some iffy territory.
Ha ha, iffy territory indeed! This whole post was iffy territory for us Americans.
But no, I have little support for polygyny, since it is not as economically and socially stable as other forms, especially line marriage.
While the actual implementation of polygamous family units might be next to impossible, in theory I believe it is an excellent option. The pressures and problems people face when trying to choose that one 'special person' would be alleviated, and there would be fewer people left out. The idea of only loving one person for your entire life is beautiful, but has been failing our society for years now. However, while I do not personally have any moral objections, I that many people simply cannot fathom the idea.
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